This past Wednesday I travelled back to my tiny hometown to be there in support of a friend at a funeral. It was a very surreal experience feeling like an outsider in the town I grew up in. I guess that happens when you leave town the day after high school graduation and don't return until 10 years later.
You see my hometown was TINY we're talking graduated high school with 19 people tiny! My single goal in high school was to leave and not look back. I didn't even glance in my rearview mirror as I drove out of town that day knowing I wouldn't be back. But life is funny that way I grew up remained in contact with some of my classmates and when I learned one of them would be facing a difficult funeral I swallowed my words of "I'll never come back" and drove home to the little bitty town where I spent thirteen years of my life. I saw the town with fresh eyes not with the disdain I had for it when I left 10 years ago but with fond memories of a happy childhood and high school experience. I also saw it with the eyes of a woman who no longer had her mother. I spent much of my time there answering the question of "how's your mom" only to be met with sadness and disbelief when I mentioned her passing.
I got to see three of my former classmates and realize well we're all getting old. I met one of their families and we reminisced about high school and all the crazy things we once did, only this time I saw them through the eyes of a parent not a carefree teen. It's really quite amazing how things have stayed almost exactly the same even down to some of the people and also to see how much things have changed. It was actually a really nice day getting to see three men who in high school were dear friends of mine and to see that they've remained friends. They are an inspiration to many I don't know many people who can say they still have friends they knew in kindergarten. I only wish I had strong ties like they do I have strong friendships but I didn't mean the women who are like sisters until well after high school and even college. Thanks to modern communication I have kept in minimal contact with people from my graduating class and to some extent know about their lives, but the truth is I liked it that way I was content for people to know I was doing well and had a family but I didn't want to disclose my struggles especially as they pertained to my mom. I had a couple of lump in the throat moments as I drove around town and stopped at all the spots I used to frequent. I had tears running down my face as I pulled up beside the house I grew up in only to see it's not been very well taken care of. It kind of surprised me that I even cared but as I sat there thinking about hanging Christmas lights with my mom, and getting in trouble when mom met me on the front steps after missing curfew that I realized that town and especially that house holds my childhood.
I drove away Wednesday afternoon with a renewed appreciation for the small town life I once despised so much and this time I did look in my rearview to see my past and finally make peace with how I left and with the town itself. I no longer look back with harsh thoughts of "everybody knows everything" and "there are always rumors" and "I just got my heart broke" those aren't the memories that came flooding back it was the sweet ones. Being the flowergirl in homecoming when I was in kindergarten, cheerleading and even captaining the squad my Jr and Sr. year, winning the school spelling bee, caring teachers, the whole town throwing me a pep rally when I got ready to compete at the state spelling bee, State Championship basketball games, walking into a restaurant in town and instantly knowing everyone in there, high school dances, riding to prom in some interesting cars, first loves and yes broken hearts that I eventually learned from, best friends and shared secrets that didn't stay secret long, crazy stunts we thought we got away with, and my mom being right there everytime I needed her. I realized after 10 years that high school was not as bad as it seemed at the time and I was so very blessed that my mom was always there anytime I needed her. I hope someday Carys will have the same memories of me being there anytime she needed me.
Later Alligators...
Mrs. A
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Oklahoma Strong
I have made it known before but I'm not super open about the fact that I live in Oklahoma so just as a formality and to let everyone know my family and most of my circle of influence is fine. I do have some loose connections to a few people who lost their homes but overall my people came out unscathed.
Monday's tornadoes will go down in history and now be something that defines Oklahoma forever. That saddens me because what I really wish people knew about my home state is how much we love each other and how much we build each other up after tragedy strikes. We Okies are no stranger to tornadoes and their damage and although it NEVER gets easier, if there's one thing the people of the great state of Oklahoma know how to do it's pick ourselves up dust ourselves off and build each other up.
What may not have been covered on the national news is the 2 mile line of cars at donation sites just a few hours after the tornado came through, the stores were wiped out of water, gatorade and packaged snacks by 6PM, the tornado hit at 3PM Central. There was a line of 1000 plus volunteers ready and waiting to head into the devastation and help begin the clean up as soon as civilians were cleared for entry into the area, there were donation sites set up within hours, our beloved Thunder donated 1 million dollars, and Kevin Durant matched it with another million. In Oklahoma what we should be known for is how we take care of our own.
Our state is Oklahoma Strong and we will come back stronger and better than ever!
If you've never visited our great state you should I imagine you'll be welcome with a big smile, and an offer from an Oklahoman to make your visit more comfortable. That's just how we are in this Great State!
Monday's tornadoes will go down in history and now be something that defines Oklahoma forever. That saddens me because what I really wish people knew about my home state is how much we love each other and how much we build each other up after tragedy strikes. We Okies are no stranger to tornadoes and their damage and although it NEVER gets easier, if there's one thing the people of the great state of Oklahoma know how to do it's pick ourselves up dust ourselves off and build each other up.
What may not have been covered on the national news is the 2 mile line of cars at donation sites just a few hours after the tornado came through, the stores were wiped out of water, gatorade and packaged snacks by 6PM, the tornado hit at 3PM Central. There was a line of 1000 plus volunteers ready and waiting to head into the devastation and help begin the clean up as soon as civilians were cleared for entry into the area, there were donation sites set up within hours, our beloved Thunder donated 1 million dollars, and Kevin Durant matched it with another million. In Oklahoma what we should be known for is how we take care of our own.
Our state is Oklahoma Strong and we will come back stronger and better than ever!
If you've never visited our great state you should I imagine you'll be welcome with a big smile, and an offer from an Oklahoman to make your visit more comfortable. That's just how we are in this Great State!
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Thankful
Blogging is difficult these days during the day I'm running/playing/laughing with/arguing with a very opinionated 2 year old! (That's right that precious little babe of mine she's 2!) and in the evenings I'm working with some of Oklahoma's coolest families!! What little break I get during the day is spent cooking meals and trying to keep up with the housework and the laundry. So it leaves little time for just mom and when I get home at night I'm prepping for the next day and falling into bed ready to do it all again tomorrow.
However I'm thankful for my schedule, thankful I get to be the one to potty train my daughter, thankful I get to be the one reading her stories before nap even though she asks for "one more tory" 12 times, thankful I'm able to prepare my family healthy nutritious meals even if I'm not home to enjoy it with them, thankful I get to promote marriage and family in a state that is always considered a "high divorce rate" state, thankful I get to hug on sweet newborns even if it does make me want another baby shhh don't tell Mr. A!, thankful that I am creating so many sweet memories and even if I don't get to blog as often as I would like I'm still recording them in my regular old pen and paper journal. Someday I'll transpose all of those pen and paper entries to the blog.
So I'm not here as often as ideally I'd like to be but I'm ok with that it's just the stage in life I'm in I'm a Mom with a capital M and that's where I need to be.
However I'm thankful for my schedule, thankful I get to be the one to potty train my daughter, thankful I get to be the one reading her stories before nap even though she asks for "one more tory" 12 times, thankful I'm able to prepare my family healthy nutritious meals even if I'm not home to enjoy it with them, thankful I get to promote marriage and family in a state that is always considered a "high divorce rate" state, thankful I get to hug on sweet newborns even if it does make me want another baby shhh don't tell Mr. A!, thankful that I am creating so many sweet memories and even if I don't get to blog as often as I would like I'm still recording them in my regular old pen and paper journal. Someday I'll transpose all of those pen and paper entries to the blog.
So I'm not here as often as ideally I'd like to be but I'm ok with that it's just the stage in life I'm in I'm a Mom with a capital M and that's where I need to be.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
dealing with two's
I knew this day would come... I thought about it feared it a little and even entertained the idea that maybe it wouldn't happen to my child! HAHA well that was a laugh. The day has arrived and she's not even officially two yet not until next month but she acts like, throws tantrums like, has 'tude like a 2 year old!!
Oh my goodness our week started out with Carys coloring on the couch while mom went to the bathroom, then later in the day she decided to finger paint....with toothpaste. The next day wasn't much better she's discovered mommy's make up and likes to "play pretty" with mommy's not so cheap make up. I've learned that if it's quiet she's probably into something she's not supposed to be.
Admittedly today was a much better day I figured we needed a day out to play so we met some friends at the Science Museum where she got to experiment to her little heart's content. She really is a good kid she's just a typical two year old.
I always feel like I'm constantly learning about my daughter. The day I think I have her all figured out and I have her routine down to a science she decides to shake things up! Ahh such is the life of a toddler momma!
Later Alligators...
Mrs. A
Oh my goodness our week started out with Carys coloring on the couch while mom went to the bathroom, then later in the day she decided to finger paint....with toothpaste. The next day wasn't much better she's discovered mommy's make up and likes to "play pretty" with mommy's not so cheap make up. I've learned that if it's quiet she's probably into something she's not supposed to be.
Admittedly today was a much better day I figured we needed a day out to play so we met some friends at the Science Museum where she got to experiment to her little heart's content. She really is a good kid she's just a typical two year old.
I always feel like I'm constantly learning about my daughter. The day I think I have her all figured out and I have her routine down to a science she decides to shake things up! Ahh such is the life of a toddler momma!
Later Alligators...
Mrs. A
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Better Late Than Never
I've seen all the obligatory 2012 was such a great year posts and I'm not going to lie 2012 was the hardest and worst year of my life! I wasso ready to kiss it goodbye and welcome a new year full of possibilities.
2012 started off really terrible being jobless, and losing my mother, only to have to find full time employment taking me away from my precious family for 7 long months where I felt as if all I did was simply survive. 2012 saw marriage struggles for Mr. A and I like never before we just couldn't seem to connect like we usually do for what seemed like forever, it also brought health issues for me in the form of anxiety. I am so OVER 2012!!
Don't get me wrong there were a few beautiful moments sprinkled in with the awful. There was a light at the end of the tunnel at the end of year it landed me in my current job doing my small part to strengthen families in Oklahoma everyday while also allowing me to be home with my precious girl during the days. I saw my little girls first birthday come and fly by and have been blessed to see her grow into an inquisitive and curious toddler with an infectious giggle and smile, I saw hardships in my marriage that seemed like forever while they were happening but now that they are over I have a renewed appreciation and love for my husband. Most of all I found ways to cope with the loss of my mother, I began plans for a garden and have worked hard over the summer and fall of this last year preparing our flower beds for a beautiful garden my tangible way to honor my mom's memory as she loved beautiful flowers, I began writing in my actual journal again but neglected my blog, I turned to the Lord in ways I'd never done before bringing Him the broken pieces of my heart to help me put back together again and oh how He did. I saw my little girl's 2nd Christmas and chose to feel the joy of the miracles of Christmas instead of the pain in the void of my mother. Surprisingly the Holidays which I had been dreading themost gave me an odd sense of comfort. I have one more milestone to cross before I can really close the book on 2012 and that is the 1st Anniversary of my mother's passing it is coming up in 5 short days. I plan to spend the day blessing others. I do not have a list of goals to share, or resolutions that I made I simply resolve to live each day to it's fullest and to savor the little things. So welcome 2013 a new year full of possibilities. I am hoping next year I'll be able to write one of those "What a Great Year" posts.
Later Alligators...
Mrs. A
2012 started off really terrible being jobless, and losing my mother, only to have to find full time employment taking me away from my precious family for 7 long months where I felt as if all I did was simply survive. 2012 saw marriage struggles for Mr. A and I like never before we just couldn't seem to connect like we usually do for what seemed like forever, it also brought health issues for me in the form of anxiety. I am so OVER 2012!!
Don't get me wrong there were a few beautiful moments sprinkled in with the awful. There was a light at the end of the tunnel at the end of year it landed me in my current job doing my small part to strengthen families in Oklahoma everyday while also allowing me to be home with my precious girl during the days. I saw my little girls first birthday come and fly by and have been blessed to see her grow into an inquisitive and curious toddler with an infectious giggle and smile, I saw hardships in my marriage that seemed like forever while they were happening but now that they are over I have a renewed appreciation and love for my husband. Most of all I found ways to cope with the loss of my mother, I began plans for a garden and have worked hard over the summer and fall of this last year preparing our flower beds for a beautiful garden my tangible way to honor my mom's memory as she loved beautiful flowers, I began writing in my actual journal again but neglected my blog, I turned to the Lord in ways I'd never done before bringing Him the broken pieces of my heart to help me put back together again and oh how He did. I saw my little girl's 2nd Christmas and chose to feel the joy of the miracles of Christmas instead of the pain in the void of my mother. Surprisingly the Holidays which I had been dreading themost gave me an odd sense of comfort. I have one more milestone to cross before I can really close the book on 2012 and that is the 1st Anniversary of my mother's passing it is coming up in 5 short days. I plan to spend the day blessing others. I do not have a list of goals to share, or resolutions that I made I simply resolve to live each day to it's fullest and to savor the little things. So welcome 2013 a new year full of possibilities. I am hoping next year I'll be able to write one of those "What a Great Year" posts.
Later Alligators...
Mrs. A
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