Well I have to say I got a beautiful comment from some anonymous person that really uplifted me and made me realize that no matter how bad it gets I'm not a quitter.
I will keep fighting the good fight. After a lot of tears and a few sleepless nights I have to come to the conclusion that life isn't worth living unless you are trying to improve it. Afterall isn't that what living the good life is all about. It's truly about setting goals for yourself that may seem absolutely positively impossible but then you reach them. I guess sometimes you have to have valleys in life in order to make the mountaintops that much sweeter.
In the meantime pray for my mom she's in the hospital and pray for me I have bronchitis.
I will write more soon.