Friday, August 28, 2009

"Defying Gravity"

Anyone who has seen the musical "Wicked" knows where I got the title for this post. I haven't even seen the musical but I adore this song and it's bold statement of going against the norm. Sometimes we all have to defy gravity and the demons in our own worlds and realize we know the truth about ourselves even if others may try to change our minds.

I've recently felt as though Mr. A and I are in a sense defying gravity by leaving his dad's church and praying for God to help us find a home of our own we've endured snide comments, ridicule, hearing that we're not truly believers, and much more. We've struggled with finding the words to tell his parents we've found a new home and still to this day have not had that discussion with them but we're ready to.

We have found our home and we are beyond thrilled with the opportunities that God has presented us with. We've prayed long and hard and studied and asked the hard questions and felt both loved, stretched, and challenged to take our faith to new heights. Pray for us that we find the words and the right timing to speak with Mr. A's parents about our decisions and that they'll understand we only want to be where we can best serve the Lord.

Some of the lyrics from
Defying Gravity

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!

Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend.

Later Alligators.....

Mrs. A

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Wedded Wednesday "Falling In Love is Like Owning A Dog"

It's time for another "Wedded Wednesday" With Mrs. Leah at Marital Bless.

On the back of our wedding programs Mr. A and I had an excerpt from a poem that we used to describe our relationship. As many of you know our big furry baby is a big part of our lives and many of our first dates were to the park to play. So it seemed only fitting that we use this poem.

First of all, it's a big responsibility,
So think long and hard before deciding on love.
On the other hand, love gives you a sense of security:
when you're walking down the street late at night
and you have a leash on love
ain't no one going to mess with you.
Because crooks and muggers think love is unpredictable.
Who knows what love could do in its own defense?

On cold winter nights, love is warm.
It lies between you and lives and breathes
and makes funny noises.
Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs.
It needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy.

Love doesn't like being left alone for long.
But come home and love is always happy to see you.
It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life,
but you can never be mad at love for long.

Is love good all the time? No! No!
Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad! Very bad love.

Love makes messes.
Love leaves you little surprises here and there.
Love needs lots of cleaning up after.
Sometimes you just want to get love fixed.
Sometimes you want to roll up a piece of newspaper
and swat love on the nose,
not so much to cause pain,
just to let love know Don't you ever do that again!

Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk.
Because love loves exercise.
It runs you around the block and leaves you panting.
It pulls you in several different directions at once,
or winds around and around you
until you're all wound up and can't move.

But love makes you meet people wherever you go.
People who have nothing in common but love
stop and talk to each other on the street.

Throw things away and love will bring them back,
again, and again, and again.
But most of all, love needs love, lots of it.
And in return, love loves you and never stops.

Excerpt from Taylor Mali's "Falling In Love is Like Owning A Dog"

I like the messy picture of love created in this poem love is never perfect and neither is marriage it's a work in progress every second. It's choosing to love when it's easier to be angry. Mr. A and I knew that marriage wasn't going to be a cake walk but we also knew we couldn't live without each other. At the end of a bad day there's nothing better than snuggling up next to my husband and knowing that all is right with the world because I'm beside my love. So may your marriage be a little like owning a dog Lord knows ours is :)

Later Alligators....

Mrs. A

Monday, August 24, 2009

ABC's of me.

A -Age: 24
B- Bed Size: full but we're getting a queen this weekend
C- Chore you hate: laundry
D- Dog's Name: Missy
E- Essential starts to your day: coffee
F- Favorite Color: green
G- Gold, Silver, or Platinum: platinum
H- Height: 5'5
I- Instruments you play: piano
J- job: insurance
K- Kids: None just yet
L-Living Arrangements: apt with hubby and doggie
M- Moms name: Sandra
N- Nicknames: snaps, G, mouse, dynamite
O- Overnight stay in the hospital other then Birth: once
P- Pet Peeve: putting others down for no reason than to make yourselves feel better
Q- Quote from a movie: "I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy asking him to love her" Notting Hill
R- Right or Left handed: Lefty
S- Siblings: 3 sisters 3 brothers
T- Time you wake up: Weekdays 6:00am, Weekends 8:00am (usually)
U- Underwear: uhh yea...always!
V- Vegetable you dislike: Asparagus
W- Ways you run late: fixing hair
X- X-rays you've had: too many to count
Y- Yummy food you make: most any type of cake
Z- Zoo Favorite: penguins

Thursday, August 20, 2009

belated "Wedded Wednesday" thoughts about the future

One of my good blog friends Leah at Marital Bless has started a weekly "Wedded Wednesday" post in which bloggers post about their thoughts on marriage. So here's mine.

When Mr. A and I have no plans for the evening we often find ourselves pulling out the netflix movies. On average we watch about 2 movies per week and it's a nice way for us to each see movies the other enjoys without it costing us an arm and a leg. We pay roughly 10 dollars a month and we get unlimited movies on instant que and unlimited movies through the mail one at a time you watch one send it back and they send the next one on your list. Anyway last night we decided to watch an instant que movie and Mr. A got to pick and he picked this:

This movie follows the lives of three divorced couples and their children. It is incredibly sad. There were a few scenes in particular that stuck out to me and most of them involved a child leaving a parent and crying because they knew they wouldn't see them for a week. It was gut wrenching to see the effects that the divorce took on each party and it all seemed so unreal and so unfair.

Unfortunately I realize that this was a probably a fairly realistic look at what a lot of families today actually go through. It eats me up inside to think there are children that have to live one weekend one place and one weekend the other place, they don't get to see both of their parents on a regular basis. I couldn't imagine the pain felt in having to leave your children for an extended period of time and I'm not a parent.

It's safe to say that my mother's cancer returning has raised a lot of questions for me and one of those questions has been should we change our plans about starting a family. Right now we're in that building phase of our marriage, building our savings, building our faith, building a future that involves a house another dog and children. We haven't really set a specific timeline but we're both in the same mindset that we want to wait a few more years and get a few more things in order before we start thinking about babies.

However my mother's sudden health deterioration makes me think maybe we shouldn't wait as long as we are thinking because it would absolutely break my heart if my mother wasn't there to meet her grandchild. I've always known this could be a possibility but just simply refused to even think about it. Now these types of thoughts haunt me everyday. I wonder would I be strong enough to face it without my momma who would I rely on to teach me the ropes of being a mom.

In thinking about our life together and how intertwined we are I can't ever imagine us splitting up and frankly I don't want to. I pray daily that our marriage grows and thrives and that we become a fortress to the world's temptations. Because I never ever want to have to experience what the couples in that film we're going through. So when we decide we're ready our children will grow up with two loving parents who love each other as well as them.

I can't imagine living without my husband now let alone later when we've spent years building a life together.

Anway this movie haunted my dreams and only further solidified my mentality of once married always married and that's just the way it is. Once that convenant before God is made nothing should sever those ties. It seems as if our society takes a different view on marriage and it's well I'll marry you and if it doesn't work out I can always get out. This both saddens and angers me I think more people need to take a look at their marriage vows. It says til death do us part not til something better comes along or til things get hard.

Marriage isn't easy it's hard but that just means we have to work at it.

Check out Leah's post at I know you'll get a blessing.

Later Alligators....

Mrs. A

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

updates,getting old, new friends, and chemo....

Random title for a post full of randomness.

Back story my hubby loves to play XBOX 360 but he never buys a game for himself at full price he waits until he can buy a used copy at the local game trading store. I knew the 2010 Madden was coming out soon so I decided to be the sweet wife and reserve a copy for him early. So I went to the game trade store and was declared the coolest wife ever for reserving my hubby's copy of the game early. When I took the card home and showed him he was really excited and then decided to go to the midnight release since he has decided to take the following Friday off. So on Thursday night at 11:30 instead of laying in bed drinking tea and reading getting ready for bed like I usually am I was heading out the door to the game trade store so Mr. A could pick up his copy of Madden 2010. We realized in this endeavor how old we're getting as staying up until midnight to go get the game was incredibly exhausting and then the following work day was so long I couldn't keep my eyes open without what seemed like a gallon of coffee. Mr. A sure was happy though so it was worth it.

this is what happens when people who are getting old try to stay up late we take goofy pics to entertain ourselves....


Mr. A with his prized possession I was trying to get the clock in the background it says 12:20AM.


Missy was so confused as to why mommy and daddy didn't go to bed at normal time...


Needless say to Friday felt like it was never going to end.

Friday evening proved to be much better Mr. A and I met Couple D for dinner and then went back to their house so the boys could play video games and us girls just took the opportunity to talk and get to know each other better it was so much fun. Their little kitten named Tux for his black and white coloring kept us all 4 entertained by running and sliding on the hardwood floors all over the living room. We had a blast.

Saturday we grocery shopped and picked up new curtains for our bedroom and then we watched one of our netflix movies it was a nice peaceful day.

Sunday I met T at the bookstore and we browsed for books for her art class she is going to be teaching beginning the last week of August. Then I came home to fix dinner for Mr. A and I found myself singing in the kitchen I haven't done that in a very long time. It felt amazing to be that light hearted and full of joy.

Yesterday we had our weekly doggie play date at the local dog park with some of Mr. A's co-workers and their dogs.

Today mom had her second Chemo treatment and it went so much better than last week. She was even joking around and being playful which is how I usually know that she is feeling better. I went with her this time since my sisters and I rotate who goes with her each week and I spent most of my day reading and trying to get comfortable in a very uncomfortable chair.

She'd kill me if she knew I was posting this pic but I thought it was just so cute. I had gone to the bathroom and she had picked up my i-pod I'd left sitting on the chair and was jamming out to the Beach Boys. It made me so happy to see her singing and dancing in her chair I had to snap a pic it's from my blackberry so the quality isn't the greatest but I just had to share.


Hope everyone is having a fantastic week and thank you all so much for keeping my momma in your prayers.

Later Alligators.....

Mrs. A

Thursday, August 13, 2009


Well my mom's first treatment didn't go as smoothly as we would've hoped she wound up in the ER Tuesday night after her blood pressure was dipping and spiking like cray. Thankfully she didn't have to be admitted and we got to take her home and she's been resting peacefully. Til we do it all again next week.

On the book front on a whim I decided to send out an e-mail at my office to see if anyone had any books they wouldn't mind letting us borrow and I'm overwhelmed by the generosity of my co-workers who've brought in over 50 books for mom.

I am starting an exciting endeavor in September I will have my very first coaches meeting and I will be coaching a team of cheerleaders for a local sports league. I am beyond thrilled about this because in my past life cheerleading was a large part of who I was. so I will have cuteness like this in my life soon.

I cannot wait to meet my cheerleaders and get to work!! I'm adding a new title to my life and it's Coach A.

Next Tuesday mom has her next Chemo treatment so keep her in your prayers.

Later Alligators...

Mrs. A

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

two requests and a great website

No thoughtful post today I just ask that you all think good thoughts and say some prayers for my momma she starts her first of four rounds of Chemotherapy today.

Also I found this website it's kind of like the opposite of FML which is a place for people to vent about bad stuff going on in their lives. This site is entitles "Gives Me Hope" or GMH and it's a place for people to post uplifting things. I was in tears halfway through the first page.

Also I have a request does anyone know of a place I can get used books for cheap. Momma reads a lot when she's going through treatment. I took her ten books last night and she was like well that will keep me occupied through Thursday. So I need to find a cheap place I can buy her books. She has a library card but it's hard for her to get there and then choose her books. Does anyone have any ideas?

Later Alligators....
Mrs. A

Monday, August 10, 2009

weeekend review and clarity....

God's wisdom is so infinite so powerful I am not even worthy of trying to figure out his master plans. I was knocked to my knees hard over the weekend not once, not twice, but three times. Not in pain or anguish but in utter astonishment over God's perfect will being played out before my eyes. Here's our weekend in review.

Friday the Mr. and I ate dinner in downtown OKC and went to see "The Producers" at the Civic Center Musical hall it was awesome with original costumes and sets from Broadway and many members of the original cast as well. It was fantastic and I don't think I've laughed that hard in a very long time. It solidified my dream to one day see a show live on Broadway in New York City.

Saturday I spent my morning doing what I love decorating cake which got a little worse for the wear on the drive to the birthday party on Saturday and I had to play quick fix doctor with some icing but you couldn't even tell when I was finished that it had been bumped around.

For clarity and because I don't want to mention names of people on here without prior approval we'll call one couple D and one Couple S. The wife I met at Borders is from Couple D and we went to the movies with Couple S.

After cake delivery I met a new friend at Borders had yummy iced chai tea and proceeded to talk about anything and everything and discovered we had a lot in common and so did our husbands. We had randomly bumped into them at Michael's Craft Store the week before and stood in the aisle near the frames and talked for a good hour.

She shared with me at Borders on Sunday that they much like us had been praying for a couple to be placed in their lives that they could forge new friendships with in which the guys and girls got along and all 4 got along. She also shared with me some details about our meeting at Michael's the week before. See they had actually gone to the frame shop the day before and were unable to get the framing done and had to come back the next night when the MR. and I just happened to be there.

As I sat there listening to her words and hearing my own thoughts I realized that God had orchestrated our meeting. But as I was driving away nearly 2 hours later and having left only because I had a prior engagement that I was going to be late for if I hadn't I began to think back over the course of the last year. I began to remember the hurt feelings of a situation I had finally begun to forget, I remembered the uncomfortable thoughts of just simply not fitting where we were, and I remembered the stress and scared feelings of a loss of my faith if I couldn't let this grudge go, I remembered crying out to you all here and asking for prayers to help me overcome my own demons and I remember you all delivering with an outpouring of affection, I remember feeling as though our prayers for fellowship were going unanswered, and I remembered on more than one occassion wondering what was wrong with me that we were left so alone.

I began to ponder the happenings of the last few weeks and I remembered deciding to visit at a church we pass by often but never really paid attention to, I remembered leaving that service and being stopped by the leaders of our age groups sunday school class and the encouragement we felt after that meeting, I remembered meeting couple D at the very same meeting, and I remember being so impressed that they remembered our names the following week. I remember praying hard after that first sunday school class that maybe just maybe we'd found what we were looking for, and finally meeting them at Michael's and exchanging phone numbers. I remember being excited when she called and asked me if I'd like to meet at Borders on Saturday.

Later that same evening as the Mr. and I were driving to meet more new friends Couple S to go see the movie and eat dinner on our double date I silently thanked God for his wisdom in bringing these wonderful people into our lives. As we sat there watching one particular scene stuck out to me in which Julie Powell was meeting her so called friends in the restaurant but they didn't even know who she really was and I remember thinking "gosh I have been there". The movie ended and we wound up eating Pho which is Japanese food the Mr. had never had it before and I'd only tried it once. It was delicious. About the second time the waitress came over to ask if we needed anything else because the four of us were chatting it hit me that we were having such a great time we weren't even paying attention to the clock. We went to the 4:20 showing of the movie and ate dinner at 7 something we didn't leave their house until 10:30 we sat around sharing stories and enjoying each other's company. We had a blast to say the least and we look forward to hanging out with them again soon.

On the drive home I finally started connecting puzzle peices. I met one new friend at work because I needed someone to talk to about the feelings I was experiencing and we've become great lunch date buddies, and I met another new friend after months and months of prayer for people the Mr. and I could be in fellowship with. We got home and prepared for bed after what had been a fantastic day and I thought about how genuinely happy the day had been it wasn't a fake happy it was a genuine smile from ear to ear can't stop grinning happy.

As we prepared for church that morning I thanked God for answering our prayers with not one but two fantastic couples that we were on our way to becoming good friends with.
But it wasn't until going to lunch with Couple D and again sitting and talking forever coming home and then later sitting at the laundromat washing clothes that the truth hit me like a ton of bricks what if God had orchestrated everything from the very beginning to put us right where we are now. What if everything that happened was all part of His perfect plan to bring these 4 amazing people into our lives.I began thinking of all the times I was angry with God for seemingly leaving our prayers unanswered when all the while He was really just preparing us for something greater.

Without this blog and the outpouring of love I received when down and out I don't know what would've happened over the course of the year. The encouragement of all of you and the Mr. kept me out of a deep depression. I know none of the wonderful people including you all that have been placed in our lives would be there if it hadn't been for enduring the hard times and that includes the hurt. I asked God so many times why I had to go through all of this and now I know exactly why so He could bring me to this moment and knock me to my knees in thanksgiving for the opportunities and friendships he has given us. I am finally free to completely let go of all the pain that has been holding me hostage for far too long.

Later Alligators....
Mrs. A

Friday, August 7, 2009

Updates and weekend plans

Well my mom had her appointment last night and the word was not as good as we'd hoped. Her cancer has returned and she starts immediately with four weeks of aggressive chemo-therapy. She'll be moving from her home to live with my oldest sister full time by the end of the month. However we are optimistic that we've caught it early and the chemo can beat it.

In more upbeat news the Mr. and I have lots of fun weekend plans including tonight we're going to the Civic Center to see "The Producers" with several of the Broadway cast members performing.

Saturday I'm delivering a firetruck birthday cake to a little boy. Then meeting a new friend for coffee at Borders and I hope to pick up this while I'm there.

Then saturday evening the Mr. & I have a double date to the theatre to see.....

we're going with my friend and her husband and then going to dinner afterwards it's going to be a fun day.

Sunday we have Sunday school with "Oasis" that's the name of our age groups class of the church we've been visiting and then of course services and afterwards we rest!!

I'm looking forward to all the fun stuff going on this weekend!

oh and I hope to finally get some pics up I cut my hair about 2 weeks ago back up to my chin and I have yet to take any new pics so I need to do that this weekend.

Anybody else have fun weekend plans?

Later Alligators....

Mrs. A

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

I wonder when it will all feel normal

I find myself this last week thinking about when I will stop feeling like a kid playing dress up. I feel this way at work and being the youngest person in my office certainly doesn't help, I feel this way with my siblings who are all older than me, I feel this way even interacting with people my own age on different things. I constantly question whether or not the way I do things is correct. I thought it would change when I got my first job and moved into my own apartment, or when I got married, but it hasn't. I often wish that life came with an ownership manual and that there was a set rule for every occurence in life, but then I realize what a boring existence that would make.

The truth is I'm probably the only person that views myself this way but I often feel like I'm not really an adult I'm just pretending. I find myself paralyzed by decisions and wondering if there are any real answers to the big questions out there. Does everyone feel this way or am I the only one who is ruled by confusion and uncertainty?

I struggle to follow what I believe to be God's Will in my life and think I do alright but there are certainly times I feel I missed the mark. Sometimes I wait for life shattering things to happen to spur me into action or I pray for the Lord to break me and mold me. How conceited of me to believe I need to pray these things as the Lord is molding me every minute of every day and I don't need to intercede on my own behalf. I don't know when or if I'll ever feel like an adult or even like a 20 something instead of a kid but maybe that's not such a bad thing. Maybe it's ok to be utterly confused by life, and maybe it's ok to make mistake after mistake as long as I'm learning as I go. I will be faithful with the journey, I'll stumble, I'll fall, I'll experience life shattering events, I'll experience miniscual moments that I should've paid more attention to, I'll take for granted people I love, and I'll fail to be true to my Lord daily........

but I'd rather fail giving it my all than to sit back and let life pass me by. I'd rather be utterly terrified of the next steps and still take them than just sit back and wait for life to come to me. I'd rather open up my heart instead of sealing it shut and never letting anyone else in. I'd rather play dress up than sit in the dark staring at the closet wondering what to wear. I'd rather fail than never try no matter how terrifying taking that next step may seem there is something much worse and that is never taking the step.

The real me today:

I'm mad at myself that I slept late I've been trying so hard to rise early in the morning and disciplining myself to view my early mornings as a gift and I have continually failed. It's so important to me but yet when the alarm goes off my bed is just so soft and warm.

I'm nervous my mom has her doctor's appointment tomorrow when we find out what the future holds in terms of whether her cancer has returned and we're going back to the days of early morning chemo sessions and late nights of worry.

I'm excited that this new church we've been visiting seems to be a really good fit.

I'm paralyzed by the fear that accompanies putting ourselves out there at said new churh.

my heart breaks today for a couple Mr. A and I are friends with they just lost his mother in May and now his stepfather passed away last night and it just seems so unfair.

I'm a little upset with myself over being a grouch this morning to Mr. A he didn't deserve it I was mad at myself not him.

That's me today..........

Later Alligators...

Mrs. A