Thursday, August 20, 2009

belated "Wedded Wednesday" thoughts about the future

One of my good blog friends Leah at Marital Bless has started a weekly "Wedded Wednesday" post in which bloggers post about their thoughts on marriage. So here's mine.

When Mr. A and I have no plans for the evening we often find ourselves pulling out the netflix movies. On average we watch about 2 movies per week and it's a nice way for us to each see movies the other enjoys without it costing us an arm and a leg. We pay roughly 10 dollars a month and we get unlimited movies on instant que and unlimited movies through the mail one at a time you watch one send it back and they send the next one on your list. Anyway last night we decided to watch an instant que movie and Mr. A got to pick and he picked this:

This movie follows the lives of three divorced couples and their children. It is incredibly sad. There were a few scenes in particular that stuck out to me and most of them involved a child leaving a parent and crying because they knew they wouldn't see them for a week. It was gut wrenching to see the effects that the divorce took on each party and it all seemed so unreal and so unfair.

Unfortunately I realize that this was a probably a fairly realistic look at what a lot of families today actually go through. It eats me up inside to think there are children that have to live one weekend one place and one weekend the other place, they don't get to see both of their parents on a regular basis. I couldn't imagine the pain felt in having to leave your children for an extended period of time and I'm not a parent.

It's safe to say that my mother's cancer returning has raised a lot of questions for me and one of those questions has been should we change our plans about starting a family. Right now we're in that building phase of our marriage, building our savings, building our faith, building a future that involves a house another dog and children. We haven't really set a specific timeline but we're both in the same mindset that we want to wait a few more years and get a few more things in order before we start thinking about babies.

However my mother's sudden health deterioration makes me think maybe we shouldn't wait as long as we are thinking because it would absolutely break my heart if my mother wasn't there to meet her grandchild. I've always known this could be a possibility but just simply refused to even think about it. Now these types of thoughts haunt me everyday. I wonder would I be strong enough to face it without my momma who would I rely on to teach me the ropes of being a mom.

In thinking about our life together and how intertwined we are I can't ever imagine us splitting up and frankly I don't want to. I pray daily that our marriage grows and thrives and that we become a fortress to the world's temptations. Because I never ever want to have to experience what the couples in that film we're going through. So when we decide we're ready our children will grow up with two loving parents who love each other as well as them.

I can't imagine living without my husband now let alone later when we've spent years building a life together.

Anway this movie haunted my dreams and only further solidified my mentality of once married always married and that's just the way it is. Once that convenant before God is made nothing should sever those ties. It seems as if our society takes a different view on marriage and it's well I'll marry you and if it doesn't work out I can always get out. This both saddens and angers me I think more people need to take a look at their marriage vows. It says til death do us part not til something better comes along or til things get hard.

Marriage isn't easy it's hard but that just means we have to work at it.

Check out Leah's post at I know you'll get a blessing.

Later Alligators....

Mrs. A


Lindsey said...

Great post!

mrs.leah.maria said...

I definitely can't watch movies like that . . . I'd also further your thinking in that maybe your planned time isn't the best time? Who knows, you know?

I'm glad you participated. :)

Sasha Townsend said...

I miss you - We need to have lunch! Facebook me and we'll plan something!