Wednesday, July 28, 2010

PEOPLE PLEASER

As I sit here typing this message I am angry with myself and searching for an answer as to why I have become such a people pleaser lately. Seriously I cannot say no to people and I find myself caring way too much what others think of me :( Why is it that when I take my focus off God I shift it back onto myself and  I become obsessed with pleasing people when I should be worried about being a good and faithful servant. Lately I've been so busy that my devotions have fallen out of step and my quiet time well it's back to being my drive to work instead of an actual set time. Don't get me wrong my word for the year is SERVE and I want to be in service to people in anyway I can, however I don't think this means putting myself last and sacrificing my free time to the point I become burnt out!

Recently I agreed to help with a cake I had no interest in doing, I agreed to have a make up cake class with one student, I agreed to a dinner I didn't really want because it was what someone else wanted, I can name numerous other occassions where I chose to play the people pleaser instead of standing up for myself. ARGH!! Why do I do this?

Is anyone else a people pleaser? Does anyone have any tips on becoming more assertive with your opinions and why can't I say NO?!!

7 comments:

Lauren said...

I can definitely say I'm in the same boat. It's not even that I fill my schedule so full, it's just that I can't even say no to something as simple as dinner! Don't worry girl, you're definitely not alone!

Kristin said...

I feel ya. I am a first child, and I think that has something to do with it. Are you? Part of it for me is wanting to be accepted and loved, and make everybody happy with me, but I'm learning that I'M happiest with myself when I'm living w/in my boundaries. Trying to be confident in my convictions- and I have to say, I do really respect people who say no to something b/c they are putting safe boundaries around their lives and time. Why wouldn't people feel the same about me? Find your priorities, and stick to 'em girl! It gets easier the more you do it. I promise :-)

*Maybe* Baby ♥ Mama said...

Our journey has begun!... secretly though =)

If I’ve left you this message, you’re a follower of my original blog ~OR~ just someone I’ve happened upon while sending out these invites and decided I would LOVE for to come along for the ride! Though I won’t be revealing who I am just yet – until we’re TO and THROUGH the first trimester! Just getting the word out about our new site – further explanation of all the secrecy and what we’re about on my first post now up. I’d love for you to stop by.

Exciting things going on around here!

http://www.definitelymaybebaby.com/

~ the {secret} *Maybe* Baby Mama

Mrs.LifeAccounts said...

I have the same problem. I think I do it because I want to make friends and we haven't had friends in so long, I convince myself that we just have to put in the effort and work now because if we slack off people will just forget about us...haha! Ridiculous though it may sound... Plus I do like serving and helping others and it can be hard for me to learn to draw the line. Lately I have been trying to set boundaries for myself. Recognizing that having commitments every night of the week is exausting and no fun, our new limit is no more than three commitments during the week after work. And we must have at least one weekend free a month. Preferably two. I've begun to recognize that when I say yes all the time, I am no longer available for things that really matter to me!

Taylor @ The Undomestic Momma said...

Im the same way!!

Karen said...

Hi , my name is Karen and I came across your blog and wanted to introduce myself.. I enjoyed browsing through your blog and will be back to visit again .. Hope you will get a chance to stop by mine and say Hi as well.
Have a great day.. and God Bless.
http://glassofsweettea.blogspot.com/

Llama said...

Urggh! I HATE that i am a people pleaser too! Doesn't it just make u feel completely exhausted?? You HAVE to start putting yourself first, for your own sanity. After a while you realize no matter what you do you can please everyone and you may only be hurting yourself.