Monday, July 4, 2011

The Big D.....

There is a big secret out there that new mommas just don't talk about they ignore it until they just can't anymore and then well it blows up into a big mess and your left with one adorable baby and one tired worn out and sobbing mama.

Yes my friends I am talking about post partum depression or PPD for short. When I was pregnant with Carys and we took the baby classes our hospital offered there was always a short little blurb the last 10 minutes of class about PPD but I always just dismissed it thinking no way it couldn't happen to me. Well my friends it did and I am still here, my baby is still the love of my life, I'm still me and I'm ok with admitting I went through and am still dealing with PPD.

My PPD manifested itself in severe anxiety I would be terrified of leaving the house afraid that my baby would be hurt somehow. At the point when I knew something was wrong I found myself afraid to carry my baby upstairs to her crib for a nap for fear of dropping her. So that evening I sat down I talked to my dear Mr. A and I told him all about the troubles I'd been having. He suggested I talk to my doctor so that's what I did even though I was fearful she'd just want to put me on medication, and at first she did but she also suggested I make it my goal to get out of the house with Carys at least twice a week. I am on medication and will be until Carys is six months old and I am ok with that.

I also decided to begin praying fervently for God to take this fear and this anxiety from me, and I had a daily entry in my prayer journal reminding me to be thankful for small victories. This all happened in late May and it took me most of June to work through the hardest parts but I am doing much better and even got out to the grocery store with Carys last week. We have been to the Farmers Market and even to Lowes recently also.

In my prayers of thanksgiving to the Lord for helping me through this difficult trial I have had Him nudge my heart to share this story with other mommas, soon to be mommas, and the general public. Dealing with PPD doesn't make me a freak it makes me like 75% of all mommas out there I'm just choosing to talk about it instead of feel ashamed. So if you're a momma dealing with PPD and you haven't shared with anyone please know you are not alone, and if you are a soon to be momma please know that if it happens to you it doesn't make you crazy or a bad mother it makes you human, and if you're not yet a momma or not even sure you'll ever be one or if you're a male go hug the new mommas in your life I assure they can use it!

Later Alligators...

Mrs. A

9 comments:

Suzanne said...

PPD is something that is on my mind regularly knowing that I have dealt with depression and severe anxiety before. Thank you for sharing. I am so happy that you are feeling better and know that you will pull through!

the workaholic momma said...

This is such a wonderful post - major kudos to you for sharing - it shows how strong you are for acknowledging what was going on and facing it! Sending hugs and wishes for a wonderful 4th of July!!

LeAnna said...

Oh, so true!!! I had PPD with my first, and on my old blog I have several posts where I talked about it. But you're right. It's one of those things you don't go around asking every new Mom about. I asked my friend after she had her baby how she was doing, and of course she was "fine", but later I learned how anxious and depressed she was. It was a real eye opener that sometimes we need to "pry" a little deeper with our friends. They don't want to admit they are feeling the way they are (because they know it's not how they normally feel...) but so often they just shrug it off, and it shouldn't be that way.

Praise God for giving you the strength to get through this. Getting out of the house is a HUGE thing, sometimes when you're left alone with your thoughts too much the enemy uses that as a foothold for anxiety and fear.

It still blows my mind how crazy of a shift our hormones go through after giving birth (and how long it lasts!!). I've started going to a chiropractor and already my cycles (and moods) have evened out tremendously. If you're interested in anything like that, I know a great one over on 89th and Western!

Mrs. Lukie said...

Thanks so much for sharing. I think it takes a strong Mama to admit when she needs help, and an even stronger Mama to share this in such a public forum. Props to you, and I'll be keeping you in my prayers!

Lindsey said...

Thank you so much for this post, it's so honest and well written. Praying for you friend!

Jen | Our Life Accounts said...

So sorry to hear you've been having a tough time, I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!

Leah said...

Oh sweetheart, I can only imagine that the scare with your dear only amplified the feelings of anxiety as well! Thank you for being open and honest! So glad that things have gotten better.

Sarah said...

Keeping you in my thoughts & hang in there!

~Sarah
@DearSarah

Melanie said...

So sorry to hear what you've been dealing with..I know God can take that fear out of your heart!! Know that you've got me praying for you! PPD is a real thing..not just some 'made up' thing they came up with for women after they've had babies. Its hard to make that transition from not being pregnant to suddenly being a mommy who's needed 24/7 PLUS a wife in most cases! Sometimes I get a little 'blue'..but thats all I've experienced thus far..I hope I never go thru the battles you've experienced but if I did..its good to know that I could talk to someone who's walked down that road. :-) Love you!!