Mr. A and I joined an amazing church in 2009, we built relationships, I served in different capacities, and we were there all the time, then life happened we moved to our now hometown 20 minutes away from our church, and we had a baby a year after that. What seemed like a short little drive before Carys suddenly seemed like a huge obstacle in getting to church on time. We began turning down service opportunities because the drive seemed daunting, and the time away from family started to feel not worth it. We persevered because of all the great relationships we had formed and continued to attend said church then this past summer without going into detail our relationships got stripped down and we were left feeling unwanted admittedly mostly by inner wars we were facing.
Mr. A took this time to turn inward and see what God might be trying to tell us, I on the other hand was so hurt and confused I just let myself be a shell of a person. Mr. A came to the conclusion that our reasons for attending a church so far away did not make sense anymore and if we wanted to serve and be used by God we needed to be closer to home. When Mr. A presented this info to me I fought hard. I didn't want to give up my friendships, or the feeling of home I had at our church. However a few weeks later I decided to give this decision to the Lord and I felt pricked I'm to be a helpmeet to my husband and I'm to submit to his spiritual leadership, even if that means getting out of my comfort zone. So I reluctantly told my husband I'd consider it and I prayed hard about it. If I'm being honest here I prayed that God would change my husband's heart and he would no longer feel the need for us to leave. Instead of that happening God began to open my eyes as to why going local might be a good choice for us. I realized the door of my child being at home with me is quickly closing and soon she'll be in school in our hometown, and she won't go to church with anyone she goes to school with, and she won't have her church friends to hold her accountable. Opportunities to serve came open at our church and I found myself turning them down because of the drive or being worried about gas prices, or just plain not being excited about serving God. That was my wake up call that something had to change. So with tears in my eyes and hurt in my heart we said goodbye to our beloved church home on October 27th to begin the new journey of finding a church that feels like home in our hometown.
I learned alot about being submissive through this life challenge. I learned that submitting does not mean I have to like it but it does mean I have to pray for God to let me be open to my husband's leading. I learned that I don't have to just accept my husband's word without asking him to prove to me why he believes we need to do something. I'm called to be a helpmeet and that means helping my husband figure out the best solution for our family. In this case his list of reasons why we should try to find a local church was better than my reasons why we should stay at our home church. My earnest prayers is we find a wonderful new church home where we can plug in and serve, as well as feel loved and accepted for exactly who we are.
Until Next Time,