It's been several months since I posted here and a few years since I've been a regular poster. I've been handwritten journaling instead of writing here. I've had some dark times in my life and I just feel as though they weren't meant to be shared with my corner of the internet. I sit here today at my computer a different woman than the one who excitedly typed the first blog post here. For one I'm a mom and that in and of itself is a huge change, I'm stronger and weaker in the same breath, I'm wiser and certainly not as naive as I was 6 years ago when I began this blog as a newlywed. I'm 6 years into my marriage now, I'm nearly 3 years into motherhood, I'm just a different woman. Not better, not worse just different. For a long time I struggled with that. Becoming a mom and then losing my own changed me in profound ways and in ways I never expected. I clung desperately to the wide eyed newlywed I was before those things happened and I tried to choke out this new woman that was emerging. See I don't deal well with change and that's all my life has been over the last few years is one series of changes after another. After much struggle I've finally embraced this new me, the one who's a little more cautious about who I share my heart with, the one who's known great heartache, the one who's known immense joy, and the one who knows that sometimes the two go hand in hand.
I'm both stronger in my faith and weaker as I realize the immense challenges motherhood has presented to me for winning my child to Christ. I'm a woman with strong convictions that have been tested, I'm also a woman who's been worn. All that to say I'm ready to return to my little corner of the interwebs. I'm ready to document my life here again. I'm ready to be a regular poster, and to share what God might be teaching me, what I might be experiencing in my motherhood and wife journeys, or simply what might have happened over my weekend. I'm not going to blog with an agenda or in a certain niche, I'm just going to blog what's in my heart and hopefully daily or at least a few times a week. I'm finally in a place where I feel like I can spill onto my keyboard what's crying out from my heart.
Til next time,