Dear Blog World,
I am writing today from a little place deep inside my heart I like to call ugly land. I have had one of those days that it doesn't matter how hard I try I just don't like what I see in the mirror and because of that I just recoil and stay to myself in fear of others affirming my worst nightmare that today I'm an ugly person. Ugly on the outside ugly on the inside. I've thought ugly thoughts I've gotten irritated more than once for no real reason and I'm definitely not being the light to a darkened world today. In fact I fear the opposite is true so much so that I removed the cross necklace from around my neck before I left for work this morning. I simply couldn't bear the thought of wearing it when my heart was not in the right place.
Yes my dear friends I'm having one of those days it's that feeling of just not being up to par with the rest of the world. My ears and nose are particularly gigantic today, my hair is all sorts of wrong, my make up just seems to highlight the flaws I'm trying to hide, my clothes don't seem to fit right and everything is just wrong. I find myself throwing a pity party of 1 just for me. I despise when I get like this and generally just get angry at myself and usually it's the times that I do not blog because well who wants to listen to yet another woman in the world complain about not feeling pretty or trying to live up to the world's standards of beauty. Then I remembered that post where I talked about being real and well my friends there you have it this is me today finding myself in need of lifting up. I try my very best to not get so wrapped up in appearances that I forget to look at the true woman underneath but sometimes when it comes to myself I just can't get past that broken sinner staring back at me.
I have to hope I'm not the only one who visits ugly land occassionally and I know the only way out of my funk is lifting others up and reminding them of their inner and outer beauty. So I'm going to do just that!
Ladies let me be frank some of you out there do not know your own beauty or if you do you're incredibly humble about it. Reading through my blog list this week I've seen holiday card pictures, pictures taken by other bloggers, pictures of you with friends and family, or even pictures of you showing off your adorable baby bumps. I'm always taken aback by how beautiful you all are. Not only in pictures but in your words also. I was fortunate to read a fellow bloggers testimony this week and I had tears in my eyes reading it because it was so heartfelt and genuine and I could tell God was going to do great things with that testimony.
I am blessed to read each of your writing and so thankful that I've found my way through the internet to your corners of the world. Thank you for taking the time to write each day. Now I think I'll go ahead and take my leave from Ugly Land because discontentment brews there and I have no reason to be discontent.