WAIT...I feel like that's the only word in my world these days, as if WAIT is the only word that's ever spoken to me. First I had to WAIT for the weekend to be over to get something scheduled, and then I had to WAIT for Carys's doctor to actually be in the office to discuss with him he doesn't work on Mondays and when the nurse told me the doctor was off on Mondays yesterday I half laughed, half cried and said "of course he is", and then I had to WAIT for him to confer with Carys's pediatrician this morning. It was starting to feel a bit like no one cared about my little girl the way they were arguing over who had to schedule the MRI. I absolutely know that's not the case but I can't help but feel that way when it seems like no one wants to get the ball moving.
After a bit of a battle this morning between Carys's pedatrician and her dermatologist we finally got the MRI scheduled for her. However it's in February, it's the 27th to be exact two days after her 3rd birthday.That's a 7 week, here's that word again, WAIT. I feel as though my life the past few weeks well months actually has been a series of hurry up and WAIT moments. I hate that word...WAIT, I hate what it means for me, I hate what it means for Carys.
It means we'll celebrate her 3rd birthday still not knowing what we're dealing with, it means I get to wonder and try incredibly hard to stay positive and not get wound up or psych myself out for 7 weeks. It means I have to pretend everything's normal when internally I'm freaking the heck out for 7 weeks. I have to put on a smile and serve others at my work and serve my family without expectation and without concern for MRI and biopsies for 7 weeks.
If you can't tell I'm slightly irritated at the long wait. I understand that the hospitals are busy but it just seems extreme. I'm ready to know what it is we're dealing with. It's like I've said to many at this point I don't even care what it is I just want to know so we can move forward instead of feeling like we're stuck in this never ending.....WAIT.
I'm leaning on and trusting (TRUST is my chosen word for 2014) that God's timing is perfect but I won't lie I'm so tired of the...WAIT!
We did get Carys on the cancellation call list so if there is a cancellation we can be seen sooner, so fingers crossed.
Until Next Time...