Monday, May 21, 2012

a letter to new moms link up

I'm linking up from E Myself & I for a letter to new moms!

Dear New Mom,

Congratulations you did it! Welcome to the most trying and beautiful time of your life! I know you're feeling all sorts of things and you know what everyone experiences motherhood differently I assure you it's normal if you're thinking you weren't really ready for this and you have no idea what you're doing. A few words of advice don't be so hard on yourself momma you're new at this you'll make mistakes you'll learn and you'll be better for it. Remember this phrase "it's only a season" or better yet remember the bible verse from Ecclesiastes 3:1
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

These words will mean the world to you when you are "stuck in the trenches of motherhood" with your first night of all night screaming or teething or sickness or worse. It will seem like forever when you're in the middle of going through it and once it passes you'll look back and see it really was the blink of an eye.
Don't be afraid to feel and don't be afraid to admit it if in your gut you think something is truly wrong either with you or with your baby. I was embarrassed when I first realized I might be dealing with PPD (post partum depression) and I ignored it but it grew and finally I couldn't ignore it I sought help and I was so glad when I did. PPD is nothing to be ashamed of it does not mean you are a bad mother it doesn't mean you don't love your precious child, it just means your hormones are out of whack! Don't feel ashamed if this happens to you! It happened to me I lived through it!
Don't be afraid to ask for help and find a few great moms that you trust with kids just slightly older than yours that you can lean on and turn to for advice through each phase and that's it stick to those women for advice and politely ignore everyone else! Everyone will have an opinion and everyone will be convinced that they know best but guess what you are MOMMA with a capital M to this child and you and only you know what's best! Trust your heart and continually pray and you'll be amazed at your own strength. Welcome to motherhood it's a crazy ride full of joyous moments, terrible tears and amazing love! You can do it mom! God's right there every step of the way loving you and your child!

Mrs. A

Mother's Day....I am finally ready to write about it....

I avoided it I didn’t want to talk about it I avoided people’s sympathetic glances, I even avoided my Google reader for a few days hoping to not have to read all the tributes to all the great moms in blogger land, and I tried to enjoy my Mother’s Day. But I had a huge gaping hole in my heart that made it incredibly painful. I posted on Facebook the week before Mother’s Day that I wanted to crawl in a hole and hide until the day was over. 

I didn’t do that I got up got dressed, pinned on my white corsage with silent tears at the fact that it was white and not colorful (I guess this is a southern thing if you’re a mom and your mom is still with you on mother’s day you wear a colorful corsage symbolizing not only you are a mom but you are celebrating your own mom, if your mother is no longer with you then you wear a white corsage memorializing her through flowers) and went to church I endured the displays of affection for moms trying to enjoy being a mom myself. I endured the painful video and beautiful songs in tribute to mothers. All the while missing mine, I breathed a sigh of relief when our Pastor informed us that he would not be delivering a typical warm and fuzzy mother’s day message.

I returned home from church and put my precious girl down for a nap while I prepared to host my in laws for what should’ve been a day of celebrating. My family tried they bought me gifts, Mr. A even baked for me, Carys was exceptionally adorable  twirling and dancing around the living room, my heart should’ve been bursting at the seams, but I just felt empty inside and I felt so guilty for feeling that way. I sat later in the silence of my living room after our family had left and  Carys was asleep with tears streaming down my face and quietly prayed asking Jesus to wish my mom a Happy Mother’s Day for me. I am sure that future Mother’s Days will be easier but this one was quite literally the second most painful day of my life. My comfort is knowing I at least got to celebrate one Mother’s Day as a mom with my mother by my side oh how I wish there had been more.

with my favorite girl the one who allows me to celebrate Mother's Day

he baked for me :)

he did a really great job I was proud

Carys's gift for Grandma A and yes she loved it.

I haven’t felt much like writing I’m still dealing with a lot of hurt, and I’ve been so busy just surviving the day to day that I haven’t taken the time to take inventory on myself and how I’ve truly been feeling. I miss the therapy of writing my words down, I miss the happiness of recording joyful memories, and most of all I miss the blog community….

Later Alligators…

Mrs. A

Menu Plan Monday

Meal planning is something I am pretty good at I can plan delicious home cooked meals all day long it’s the executing that I have a problem with after a long day at the office usually the last thing I want to do is cook. So I try very hard to prep my meals on Sunday so that I have less work to do during the week it makes my life a  little bit easier. So I have already, made the spaghetti sauce for today’s meal and cut the squash for frying so all I will have to do today is throw the breadsticks in the oven,
I’ve also already cut the chicken for tomorrow’s salads into cubes, made and froze the pancakes for Thursday night and made and froze the hamburger patties for Saturday night. Doing this little bit of prep work early on makes for a much smoother evening meal time. I’m slowly learning the tricks to running a household, being a mom, and working full time. I am guessing just about the time I get it figured out I’ll be ready to leave the corporate world to stay at home with my kiddos.
Spaghetti with Meat sauce, fried squash, breadsticks

Chicken Ceasar Salad with fried apples

We eat @ church on Wednesday nights

Breakfast for dinner
Pancakes, eggs, bacon & sausage

DATE NIGHT so we’ll be eating out

Grilled teriyaki burgers and homemade fries

Italian chicken with garlic pasta and steamed broccoli.

Updates in the A Household!

First of all Mr. A and I are now working on Saturdays the goal is for us to both work like this for one full year and then re-evaluate. It’s a lot of hard work and it’s difficult to not have a lot of family time and or chore time. I’m trying to be super diligent in our home keeping methods and in my cooking. With that being said it’s causing Mr. A and I to butt heads a lot so I’m trying to relax a little and to understand my home may not be completely organized but at least it’s semi there. I’ve also decided I need to blog about my daily plans and schedule I know that will seem boring to most but it will help keep me on track. Let’s be honest here I’ve fallen off the blogging band wagon and frankly I beat myself up over it now I’m choosing not to care and to utilize my blog as a place to record memories and a place to blog about our plans for our family. We’re almost 1 month in to the agreed upon one year term and we are making progress slow as it may be. I know the reward of me staying home later on will be worth the hard work now. To everything there is a season has become my current mantra  and I truly believe I’m just in a season of extremely hard work and trying times but it will all be worth it later on.