just some thoughts as I struggle with my own heart

There is something about the floor of a bedroom that beckons its inhabitant to break down.

Isn't it silly how one can get caught up in the trivial things of life.
desiring the most extravagant surroundings,
longing for the trendiest vehicle in order to watch the scenery go by,
deciding what social outing to R.S.V.P to,
and so on and so forth.


What does it even matter . . . sure it's important . . . for the moment.

But what about for eternity?

Nothing that will happen in the next hour or so holds any importance at that moment when one's knees touch the carpet.

All dreams and desires,

All fears and discomforts,

They all are stripped away and you are just alone.

The realization of how small you are and how someone...anything bigger is needed to come to the rescue is the only truth that can be held.

The light is off.
It's dark.
No one can see you.
No one, but The Almighty, can hear you.

As soon as you're alone the tears begin to fall into their familiar puddle.

They've been longing to be set free once again and now is their time.


Back to the floor.

Many life changing moments happen on that floor.

Life and Death.

The majorities choose life, but only enough to keep them afloat for tomorrow.
Not enough to sustain them throughout the rough waters that will constantly beat against the shore of their lifetime.

Some make the decision to deny the call/purpose/destiny on their life for the fear that it is too cumbersome and will get in the way of "their" plans. These are the foolish.


Some will choose to cast their burden of heaviness for a lighter load. This is mostly what the floor is used for and if you have not traded your heavy load for the later... Please Do.

Others,
the few,
kneel down with the utmost sincerity and hand their life over to be broken, molded, and used for a greater purpose.

Those few (most Followers feel that they fall in this category. not true.) go through the most excruciating/glorious process of their life.

EVERYTHING that was ever known to be true is shaken.
ALL THINGS are stripped away.
TEARS are constant due to the battle between spirit and flesh.

And, DON'T DARE BE MISTAKEN; it is a mighty battle that is fought.

Life is lived underneath everything that is seen and felt in the temporal world.
The entrance to another realm opens and everything has purpose and meaning deeper than any sermon ever laid ear to.

The senses are heightened.
Love is felt more deeply and Truth stabs one like an arrow anywhere that it is not revered with the greatest esteem. Wisdom and Understanding are the greatest companions and all who posses the two are eagerly welcomed.

Once that decision is made there is absolutely no turning back.
It just can't happen, for The Glory is felt in the greatest capacity ever known and to give that up would be greater than death itself.

Daffodil Days

I am selling daffodils for American Cancer Society. So if anyone needs pretty flowers or an adorable teddy bear to brighten their day I'm the girl to call.

Wednesday=mid week slump

Ugh there are so many reasons that I have a love/hate relationship with Wednesdays.
I love Wednesdays because it's church night and I get to fellowship with my friends and hear God's word. I hate Wednesday's because it is the middle of the week and I always feel rushed to accomplish whatever is left before Friday, and more work always seems to pile on to my plate on Wednesdays. However I am continuing to stay positive and just get things done. It has become a sort of weird game with me to challenge myself to see how much I can accomplish in one day. (I know I've got to be one of the biggest dorks ever).
My relay meeting went well last night and I am so freaking excited about Saturday I've never presented at a Relay University event before and I am so glad to be given this great opportunity.
In kitchen news my baked pork chops were great last night and I am excited that I finally feel like I am cooking decent meals. However we desperately need to go grocery shopping we are all out of veggies.
Oh I am selling daffodils for Daffodil Days a fundraiser put on by American Cancer Society. So if you need any pretty flowers let me know.

Mrs. A

SO PUMPED

Ok so last night's class was AMAZING. It is so great to combine two things that I really adore. Our Bible study is on Esther which is by far one of my favorite books in the Bible. I tell you what she was one incredible woman to have endured everything that she did. My mother in law is such a great leader and I love her kind nature in the way she teaches it was truly a blessing. We are making sheppard's pie next week and I am so excited. This is really going to be a fun, educational time that I really think I'll look forward to every week. YAY a reason to make Monday's not so horrible.
In other news I am making pork chops tonight and I am excited about it especially with my new found freedom in cooking.
So I think it's time for an update on all my projects/goals I set at the beginning of the month.

1. stay positive with my job: you know what how you feel about something really is directly affected by how you react to different situations. I now feel like I am a strong contributing part of my business, and that what I do matters. This excites me.

2. Focus on the positive in my life: this is such an easy thing to do whenever I take a good look around me and see all the good things that are right in front of me, oh sure I've had my moments of doubt and self pity, but I know that I have more than most have or will ever find in their life, in that I have a wonderful loving family, a husband that I am truly deeply in love with, I am healthy (for the most part), and even though my finances aren't perfect I can pay my bills. These are things I should definitely be thankful for.

3. learn to sew: ok i haven't done a whole lot with this one other than I found a free e-book that outlines the basics. Hopefully I'll be able to really get going with this one before too long

4. become a better cook: how can I not become a better cook with such a great class on Monday nights.

5. be on time: well I was doing great til this morning, I woke up late because I fell asleep on the couch after having woken up, so I was late for work. Eak, but I really have been doing well other than today.

6. stay organized: I think I'm doing pretty well here, I organize my desk before I leave each night, I make my bed every morning if I can remember which has been a lot lately, and the dishes get done as soon as meals are over so all in all not terrible but definitely could do more.

7. strive to make our apt. a comfortable and loving home: I think I'm still learning exactly what this means, but I am starting to realize it is not something you can create but something that must be felt in the heart.

8. take up scrapbooking more regularly: I haven't gotten to do this as much as I would like but I have gotten a good start on some wedding lay outs I can't wait to really dig deep into it one of these weekends.

9. do cardio twice a week: well I have been playing outside with Missy in the mornings but that's about it I definitely need to step up my game on this one.

10. finish wedding scrapbook by April: I really need to get going if I want to finish by April I only have 3 lay outs done and no pictures yet.

Well I think I'm doing ok with my new year's goals but not great I could definitely be doing better. Sometimes I just wish there were more hours in the day, or at least that I needed less sleep. Oh well I'll update again in a few weeks.
Thanks for reading my self check up and evaluation.

Mrs. A

Weekends are too short!

Well I am back at work today after what seemed to be an all too short weekend, Saturday I didn't really do much of anything but a little bit of housework, then Saturday night my husband and I had date night we went to the pool hall and played a few games of pool and a few games of air hockey of course I got beat all but one game of pool but it was still fun. Sunday church and worked on my next week's sunday school lesson, did laundry, went to choir practice, then to evening church.
We had a wonderful pot roast for dinner last night that I was so excited about I did my own spices instead of using pre packaged ones and it was very tasty.

Tonight is the first night of my cooking/Bible study class and I am so excited. I don't know which is more exciting the prospect of cooking with two women who really know how to cook or the thought of starting a new Bible study which always excites me.
Tuesday I have a Relay for Life meeting to discuss the Big presentation at Relay University this coming Saturday.
Wednesday I have to work on my presentation for Relay University.
Thursday I have an open house at work for potential employees, then I have plans to scrapbook when I get home.
Friday is well Friday I plan on finish up my ACS presentation, doing some scrapbooking, and working on some projects for my Sunday school lesson.
Saturday is of course Relay University from 9-3 I am so excited about this, then I plan on doing housework the rest of the afternoon so I don't have to do it on Sunday.

I have a full week but it's not too terribly crazy. I have a feeling things are only going to get crazier as spring approaches.

FRIDAY!!

It's Friday of what has turned out to be a pretty darn good week. Work has improved so much and I think it's because of my attitude which I have been very aware of this week and tried very much to stay positive and guess what it has worked!! I had a great review and I am determined to keep up my new attitude. My Sunday school projects are coming along. It has just overall been a very positive week.
I am looking forward to this weekend and getting some things done.

Sunday School Spruce Up and life in general

As I have mentioned before I teach a sunday school class at my church of 1st through 6th graders well I decided the room needed some sprucing up last night so I vacuumed moved tables around and decided to start working on a few projects. So my projects tonight include making a new board to review old and new testaments, making devotional books for each student, creating their names out of block letters for use in the classroom, creating a star charting system to award students that are there. I want very badly to have a more organized class and I feel like I've been letting my students down. I am hoping to change that this week. Wish me luck with my new projects for this weekend.

Life has been sort of blah lately with Jeremy working so much and us not really getting to see each other except at night. I am praying for contentment in knowing that this is what he has to do right now, but I miss him terribly. Oh well at least I have all my goals to keep busy. Oh and just in case you were wondering I haven't made a decision regarding competing in Mrs. Oklahoma in April but I will be soon.

Mrs. A

Back to the Grind

so today is the first official day of the first full work week I have had in weeks. I came into work today determined to be positive so far I have done pretty well. My goal is to not procrastinate and get things done this week. I will keep you posted on how it goes.

New year, new me

My number one goal is to make a large change in my attitude towards my job. I can do much better than I am currently doing and I know it therefore I will be making some changes in my attitude towards my job. I want to literally own my job and be the best possible at it. I want to be one of those people who is completely irreplacable. So starting today less procrastination and more proaction. He he I sound like some motivational speaker but seriously I'm a firm believer that your happiness depends on you and what you make of the situation you've been dealt therefore I will make the best of it.

So as part of new year new me. I have decided on 4 things I want to change.

I want to find a positive outlet to work stress such as working out or a hobby.

I want to not procrastinate with things I need to complete.

I want to be more diplomatic in my work environment.

I want to take control of each situation I am given to deal with and go the extra mile


Thanks for listening to my pep talk I had to give myself.

Pictures as promised

Explanation of pics in order of appearance.

1. this is a picture of one of our bookshelves all decorated with Christmas cards and stockings

2. us on our 2 month wedding anniversary

3. Christmas lights in Yukon it was so freaking cold but still so much fun

4. our little apt. balcony all lit up for Christmas

5. us after our Choir perfomance at church

6. our stockings that I made, they have our initials at the top and say Mr. and Mrs. then Missy our dogs says Missy A.

7. This is our tree tiny and covered in ornaments (we need a bigger tree just to hold all the ornaments)

Updates, and Goals

Well let's see Christmas was absolutely fantastic and I loved every minute of it however I am glad the Holidays are over. Last year was the first year I was a last minute shopper and I have to say never again I enjoy getting my shopping done early I have more time to be creative that way. We had an awesome get together on Christmas eve that went off without a hitch it was our first time to host together in our home with our things it was very low key just snacks and things but even if I do say so myself I think we did a pretty darn good job. I have no pictures to show so you'll just have to take my word for it that it was great. After our get together Jeremy and I watched "Love Actually" which is sort of a Christmas movie. Christmas day we spent running here there and everywhere and eating way too much. We got and gave some lovely gifts. The rest of the week I actually had to work but I spent the time since it was very slow organizing my office and getting ready for 2008. It was nice to know that even though I had to come back to work today I came into a clean ready for the new year office. I got another 4 day weekend for New Years and spent the time cleaning up the Christmas decorations and getting everything back to normal, cooking up some new recipes, salisbury steak for one which I have to say was one of my best, and then rosemary chicken which was also very good. Jeremy and I bought a spice rack with one of our gift cards over the break and it has been great.

Ok as promised top ten 2008 Goals.

1. Do not let my job stress me out.
I am very bad about letting negative situations at my job stress me out, to the point that I just break down. I refuse to let that happen this year.

2. see the positive in every situation.
Sometimes life throws us curveballs, but hey I of all people should know sometimes they truly can be blessings I mean I locked my keys in my car the day I met my now husband.

3. learn to sew
This is something I have wanted to do for a long time so I am just going to do it and quit saying I'll do it later.

4. become a better cook
I want so bad to be a fantastic cook so I will continue to learn all I can about the art.

5. be on time
I have a little habit of being ten minutes late to everything, I want to stop this.

6. stay organized
I have gotten everything pretty organized lately but usually towards June or July I begin to not care about my organization, I will not slack on my organization mid year this year.

7. strive to make our apt. a comfortable and loving home
I want my home to be a place filled with laughter and love.

8. take up one new hobby
scrapbooking will be this hobby I have always loved journaling and taking pictures so I am going to combine the two I have already started and my goal is to not give up on it.

9. do cardio at least twice a week
I am going to make myself at least walk twice a week my body cannot take me being out of shape I will be sick all the time, and never have any energy unless I do something about it.

10.finish wedding scrapbook by Mid April
I want to have a pretty album to showcase to family and friends.

Ok there are my 2008 goals, our New Years Eve was wonderful low key and quiet we at dinner watched movies, toasted to the new year and fell asleep. New Year's day we spent at our honorary Oklahoma grandparents house playing dominoes it was fun. I am ready and excited for 2008 I think it's going to be a great year. I have already started working on my plans for Valentines Day and I am so excited.

in upcoming post a few pics from Christmas and all the December events.

Happy New Year

Hope everyone had wonderful holidays. I know mine were fantastic. These were my first
Holidays as Mrs.A and I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Jeremy loved his poetry anthology that I got him and my mother actually had tears in her eyes when she unwrapped the sewing machine Jeremy and I bought for her. I love giving gifts that touch the heart. But don't think for a second anybody forgot about us. Jeremy got a brand new computer, I got a beautiful jewelry armoire so now I don't have to break a peice of my jewelry fighting to get it out of my tiny overstuffed jewelry box. Now it's all organized and I love that. We also got a few puzzles, I got some mary kay stuff, Jeremy got some socks, but I think the thing that surprised us both my wonderful in laws bought us a dyson vacuum. Yes we are really big nerds that our most exciting gift was a vacuum but the thing really is awesome and with our crazy dog who sheds like no other it is really the best gift. An added bonus is that my husband likes to vacuum now. It's so cute.

Well that's all for now. Longer update, pictures, and the top ten of my 2008 goals for you tomorrow.

Happy 2008 everyone.