As 2009 draws to a close I find myself going back and reading posts I've written over the last year. It's clear to me now that 2009 was a year of great change for me I started out the year in a very bitter lonely place and praying for guidance for things to be different. I had been hurt deeply and didn't know where exactly to turn.
my reflections here revealed a lot about my thought processes and what I was struggling with.
I started out the year alright then I got to this point and things just felt like they got worse for a while.
At this point I wasn't sure I was ever going to be able to let go of the anger and the wounds deep in my heart!!
Then with a heavy heart I decided this in March because I felt I needed to get change some things in my life. My insomnia was at it's all time worst, and I felt like things were never going to get better. I tried to keep faith and found myself crying out to God every time I was awake at 2 3, and 4 AM.
Less Is Often More
Once I had made the decisions needed to put myself in a better place slowly things started turning around in June we successfully held our Relay event, and although it was stressful standing on the stage at midnight during the remembrance ceremony and realizing that we made at least a small impact on someone's life it was all worth it.
Slowly Mr. A and I began making changes we began the dreaded church search and I was left feeling empty and unfulfilled without the fellowship of others by July I was at this point.
In August we started attending what is now our church home and things started to change!
I'm not going to link the whole post just this little snippet cause it was really long!!
As we prepared for church that morning I thanked God for answering our prayers with not one but two fantastic couples that we were on our way to becoming good friends with.
But it wasn't until going to lunch with Couple D and again sitting and talking forever coming home and then later sitting at the laundromat washing clothes that the truth hit me like a ton of bricks what if God had orchestrated everything from the very beginning to put us right where we are now. What if everything that happened was all part of His perfect plan to bring these 4 amazing people into our lives.I began thinking of all the times I was angry with God for seemingly leaving our prayers unanswered when all the while He was really just preparing us for something greater
I've said before that I love the Fall season because for me it's always a time of great change! Fall 2009 was no different!
I made peice with my mother's illness and turned her life and my worries over to God!
It Is Well With My Soul
We started forming some amazing friendships that have grown into beautiful blessings of real companionship and my wishes to go deeper were beginning to be fulfilled.
Mr. A's Big Surprise
you know the rest of the story our Christmas Holiday was the best Mr. A and I have had together and we feel so truly blessed with all the changes we've experienced in the last 4 months of 2009!
We are looking forward to what 2010 has to offer for us.
Tomorrow I will post about our 2010 resolutions but for today I'm going to pause to remember the 2009 even the hurtful parts because they've gotten me where I am today.
I hope you all have a blessed New Year! Mr. A and I are off this evening to a rock band party at our friend's house we're going to ring in the New Year with our own version of New Year's Rockin Eve!